A story about why I'm the worst blogger.

A story about why I'm the worst blogger.

• Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Every single day I have high hopes of getting a blog post or two in. In my wildest dreams, I schedule them out a week in advance. And then my day goes something like this...

Wake up at 6:30 when Phillip wakes up. Feed him a go-go squeeze and bring him to bed with me and hope and hope and hope he will please go back to sleep for a little bit. Because, you guys. I do not get up before the sun. That is the worst thing ever. I can get up so much earlier in the summer (I'm so serious). But it's still winter and still dark at 6:30 and so still I hope Phillip will go back to sleep. Some mornings I'm lucky and he does and we both sleep 45 more minutes. Some days I'm not so lucky and once it's the teensiest bit light I drag myself out of bed so Phillip will stop climbing all over/hitting/poking Jack & Daddy because it's not fair for nobody to get any sleep ha.

On a really, really good (and rare) day, I'll get 20 minutes in on my exercise bike before Phillip's pleas (read: angry screams) for breakfast force me off the bike and straight to mom-duties for the rest of the day.

Feed breakfast to the baby who swipes everything off the table and thinks it's hilarious sometimes while simultaneously getting Jack's mini wheats (oh, wait. change of plans. now he wants oatmeal like phillip) in the right color bowl with the right color spoon with the right TV show on (when will the kid learn I don't schedule Disney Channel's programs?! - I'm sorry, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is not. on. right. now.) ... and I'm sometimes also making T's lunch during all this commotion. While telling this little baby inside of me (and my angry, growling tummy) ... I will feed you, too. Patience!

Clean up breakfast and any food/drink that was swiped to the floor by monster baby. Promise self I will vacuum crumbs today. It really will be today. I've said that every day for the last seven days.

Hop in shower. Jack throws a fit because he wants me to play instead. Phillip cries because he wants to be held. I tune it all out for five minutes of relaxation under the warm water ... or until one of them swipes the curtain open over and over again demanding my attention. The latter happens more often.

Promise Jack I will play cars as soon as I get dressed, fix my hair, and do my makeup. He generally goes on to play by himself while he waits. Phillip gets a nap. I dress. Do my makeup. Start fixing my hair. Jack comes in. "Mommy what are you doing? Play cars now?" Finish my hair in a hurry (this is my excuse for any time you see that it looks awful). Fulfill my promise and play cars. Oh, but I only play with the purple one because that's the "girl car" and the only one I'm allowed to touch.

Break little Jack's heart when I tell him I have to start the laundry. Or vacuum. Or clean the bathrooms. Or make the beds. Or clean the playroom (again). Or...okay, you get it.  Phillip wakes up seconds into my chores and clings to my leg while I try to get something done.

Suddenly it's already time for lunch. Didn't we just do breakfast? Fix lunch for a starving baby and a toddler who can't make up his mind for what he wants to eat. And again tell that baby and my own tummy...I will feed you, too. Patience! Repeat breakfast scene.

COORDINATED NAP TIME. It works out some days.

As soon as both boys are down I look at my to-do list and suddenly feel so overwhelmed with exhaustion it's all I can do to make myself a quick lunch, scarf it down and drag myself to the couch for what I hope will be a decent nap. Lay down and close my eyes and fall asleep immediately. I wish. Instead I spend several minutes worrying that the second I close my eyes one child or the other will wake up and interrupt my almost-nap which is worse than no nap amiright? By the time I can finally convince myself to just go to sleep my worries all come true and someone (usually Phillip) starts crying. Up I go.

Repeat clingy baby (I swear he doesn't nap long enough, but I can't seem to fix it. All ideas and advice welcome). Do as many chores as possible with baby on hip and one free hand. Jack wakes up and begs and begs and begs for me to play and so I do. Because they're only little once, right? And plus he is just so cute and playing with him is always fun even if it does mean I can't get even a quarter of my to-do list to-done. So we play cars. And baseball. And swords. And bowling. And...can you tell I have a boy?

Time for dinner! All we do is eat! Repeat breakfast and lunch except the meal inevitably takes longer to make. Especially during the witching hour. Gosh, I hate the witching hour.

Time for baths and jammies and teeth-brushing which all take far longer than you'd think they should. And suddenly, the baby is in bed for the night. The toddler still wants me to play but usually he gives in to "helping" with chores and we try to finish at least half the to-do list.

If Jack had a bedtime, this would probably be it. But let's be honest. By the end of the day, I'm too tired to think about a bedtime routine for him and really don't want to fight the bedtime tears so he just doesn't have a bedtime and goes to bed when I do.

I glance at the clock and it's somehow 10pm already?! Where does the time go?! Jack easily goes to bed with a promise of getting to sleep in mommy's bed. I hurry and tidy the playroom while the monsters aren't there to destroy it within seconds.

And then I sit in bed by an almost-sleeping Jack with my journal/computer/bills to pay/budget to track/anything else that really does need to be done. He's out. I catch up on what I can and then think "NOW I CAN BLOG!" And then I hit "new post" and stare at the blank "compose" box and it's just all too much. Editing pictures, putting them on the computer, uploading them to blogger, writing something clever, adjusting photo locations. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. And I'm just exhausted in general. I'm telling you that the second trimester energy burst has not at all come true for me in round 3. At all.  And so instead of blogging, I close my laptop and promise myself I'll do it tomorrow.

Now scroll allllll the way back up to the top and read the whole thing again. That's what tomorrow is going to be like. Welcome to Motherhood (+ a husband stolen away by accounting busy season).

And that is why I'm the worst blogger.

I wouldn't change one thing (except for busy season).

PS. You can expect me here tomorrow. I promised myself.

xoxo